I have a huge heart, but I am not perfect. In fact, I think being so heart-centric has led me towards as much success as it has heartache. It’s a clumsy business: caring about people to the point that you are willing to sacrifice your own sanity, but it’s just a natural disposition for a people pleaser like myself.
I genuinely want to make everyone around me feel confident, appreciated, and somehow simultaneously manage my own whirlwind of emotions. But I experienced two heartbreaks back-to-back earlier this year, and I thank both of those individuals for helping me understand when it is no longer my job to worry about their mental health or their needs.
Sometimes people get greedy with the attention you give them. They get the words of affirmation and attention they wanted, and when it is more convenient for them, they push you away in an erratic, tactless fashion.
And there you are again: bitterly pushing food around on your dinner plate, beating yourself up for not being perfect--relentlessly excusing their selfish behavior, as if it were ever truly excusable to begin with.
Life is way too brief to harbor anger or resentment towards someone. We are all flawed in our own ways, but life is also too short to sit there working for someone that quite frankly has already shown you who they are.
But I have a stubborn heart, so I completely understand how habitual the process can get: they hurt you, they come back with a sweet apology, you rekindle your bond, and then BOOM…they act like a selfish ass again. And who feels like a moron: you do.
Eventually all that wasted time and energy catches up with you though, so do yourself a favor. Just walk away. After all, they are on their own path of self-discovery--one that no longer includes you. Find the strength to let go. And do your best to forgive them in the process, too
Food will taste better, music will sound sweeter, and you will sleep easier. Experience the pleasure of surrounding yourself with people that actually want to be in your life. I promise you it will be nothing short of life-altering.